There are many types of Sadist but the ‘Fluffy’ breed of Sadist is especially deadly. Identifying as a Sadist comes with it advantages and disadvantages. It’s a scary word so, it carries with it a predetermined image. Some see this as advantageous, some don’t. Some gravitate toward the dark feeling the word Sadist instils in people. Others feed off of the fear being a Sadist can bring. Stereotypically guys are portrayed as evil, dark, spiteful, masculine mans men. Women also dark, evil, spiteful, ultra-bitch, tough. 'We all wear black type people'...
But the Fluffy Sadist. They’re a different breed entirely. Free from stereotypes and devoid of toxic masculinity. The Fluffy Sadist can appear sweet, innocence (ish), vulnerable. A ‘twue’ Sadist might see these qualities as a weakness, but they’d be wrong... Oh so wrong. The Fluffy Sadist will dazzle you with their charisma, weaken your defences with their charm, lull you into a false sense of security. Where you will find they’re just a Sadistic, evil, dark as any other Sadist. But you you didn’t see it coming.
Am I doing it for attention, like a cat walking across your keyboard or newspaper, (does anyone still read newspapers?) knocking your glass off the table and then looking at you for a reaction with a deadpan glare.
Am I doing it for a reaction? If I annoy you a little... will you hit me harder? Will I see that flash in your eye that tells me you're not going to go easy on me this time? That thrill of anticipation when I know you're going to really enjoy hurting the sass out of me, even if just for a little while.
Am I pushing you to your limit, so that you'll push me to mine? Like a daring dance, a fluffing of feathers. A cheeky glint, a mental note of what really riles you, for future use... filed away in the spank bank,
...till the next time the sassochist needs their fix.
As we grow, some people choose to rebel against the norm and find ways to accept and embrace their true selves, whilst sadly many do not. Conforming is safe, predictable and what is expected, and shaming or belittling those who choose not to is comforting and reassuring. This turns a lot of people bitter and defensive, and sadly that bitterness seeps out as a desire to in turn hurt other people.
The aim is for my play partner not to feel the NEED to call red during a scene, which might sound obvious to some, but if a play partner is always thinking about if they should call red or indeed does call red then my feeling is that I/we have failed in our negotiations, (excluding any accidents.) I might have failed to express myself accurately or to truly understand where my play partner's head is at.